We have this custom of seeking blessings from everyone in the family on any special occasions in life. Especially from elders, you should bend and touch the feet of the person and they would bless you by keeping both palms on your head. On their marriage day a typical Kerala bride will weigh atleast 10 kilograms extra with the heavy brocaded saree, a load of awkward jewellery which is a must in Kerala traditional weddings, and a heavy load of deceiving (artificial)long hair and flowers and half a kilogram of hair pins to fix all these scraps together. I still remember how difficult it was to bend before all the uncles, aunties, ammumma’s and appuppans including that Pappu uncle, this Ammini aunty, this Raman uncle, that Janaki aunty and who not? Bending, be straight and again bending, be straight is such a difficult task that too in the brides attire and all we’re doing this is just to be blessed by them. You don't want to spare anybody's blessing when you step into a new phase in life.
I thought everyone would want it in the same way, that is to get blessed by others on their wedding day. I didn’t know that there are people who likes to be cursed on their most important day of life till I started living in Sikh Village. This is the place I’ve been living for the last 5 years and one special thing about this place is that it has a number of function halls. Within a radius of 3 kms, atleast 10 huge function halls are there where the daily rental charges are also as huge as the halls. Most of the halls are adjacent to each other and thus fall in a row. Marriages happen almost all days through the year in all these function halls.(Except some marriage-forbidden months like “Ashadam” normally during July-August) The decorations at the entrance itself is a must-see stuff and 2 ordinary marriages can be done in the expense of that alone.
Though the entire stretch of function halls is equipped with a pretty good parking space as the number of cars each wedding sees is so huge, the space would never be sufficient to accommodate all of them. Every day after 7 p.m it is a traffic jam with the “overflow” of parked cars on either side of the road. Everyone wants to park right in front of the venue because they think that walking a few steps would spoil the neatly draped sarees. So would it spoil the costly make-up layer too by sweating it out.
People who are on their way back to home after a long day’s work starts cursing the marriage party when they get stuck in this traffic jam. Adding oil to the fire is when there is a VIP attending the function. The entire traffic will be stopped by the police till the VIP is taken into the hall and seated comfortably. When people somehow manage to get out of this traffic maze, alas! there comes the next. The "Horse Show". The bridegroom is sitting on the traditionally decorated horse. He is sitting there, responding with a blushing smile to the double and triple X-ed comments from the crowd around him which includes friends,cousins and all those little nieces and nephews.
As if not enough, people who are impatiently waiting for the horse procession to pass by will have to suffer the ear breaking hindi fast numbers played by the band team. One will not even mind to kill the person who invented bass drums and clarinets at that time if given a chance. Somehow when the band team passes by you think the trouble is over. No way, here comes the next team who will en-“lighten” you with petrol lights (modern hurricane lamps). They are in hundreds. Depending on your Ghoda-walla’s financial status there can be more too. You will have to wait till the marriage procession proceeding to the marriage hall to make the road clear.
When it proceeds our groom occasionally looks around at the traffic that has come to a standstill all because of him. Then you notice the pride and pleasure in the face of the idiot. He should be so proud that he has ‘made’ so many people’s evening by giving them a chance to see him sitting on a coughing horse and they have all showered their blessings on him! Phewwww! My dear son, you have gained the heartiest curses from hundreds of people which is sufficient for your lifetime.
Some how you reach home 2 hours late though you were just 5 minutes away from home. Prepare food, eat, feed the baby, somehow manage to put the baby into sleep, do your dishes, close the kitchen and go to bed. You are catching up sleep slowly. Zzzzz....
Suddenly!!! TAPP,TAP, TOOOOO!,TAPATATATATAP…^%$$%$#$#$%%$^&%&^.
You would jump from the bed suddenly and you have been woken up to a big bang.. and the baby starts screaming and he would not stop. No baba, it’s not an earth quake or anything. Our ghoda walla just got married at this strange hours in the night and he does want to let the world know and wants the world to sing a merry song for him jumping in joy! What bullshit! You not only curse them but you tend to curse their ancestors too. The firework goes on for minimum 10 minutes and the entire neighbourhood is now awake. Some are trying to console the crying babies, some consoles the bedridden patients or old people in their homes who managed to get some sleep just minutes back.
And?
And the couple lived happily ever after with all our “BLESSINGS” they got on their wedding day!!
Note: I’m not making any point here to avoid celebrations for weddings or whatever. But one can be considerate about others when things of this sort is being arranged right in the middle of the city.
